Sorta Fairytales 3 of 3

Addicted to Heroine


It's almost pathetic how Mia still can't get over her first love. And to this day her great love. Because it was indeed a sorta fairytale.

In her 23 years of abstinence from romance, she had looked forward to that earth-shattering day when she'll meet a lovely princess who will teach her more than the tricks of fire. Someone who will give meaning to everything she fought for, to the giggles and butterflies in her stomach when she is smitten.

And she saw her heroine, she mustered all the confidence she had for this one. Fair-skinned, towering at 5'9", ramp-modeled for sometime, smart, even her accent alone is enough to make anyone come. Closer. She was every lesbian's dream--yes, even the pretty ones. Her anxiety level rose but nothing could stop her, not even herself.

Mia being the wuss that she is, tried her best at what could only be described as acceptable flirting. It worked! 2 months later they went on their first date. Mia was the happiest dork on earth.

She dolled herself up. Sprayed on some cheap cologne and prepared herself for actual flirting. She was a bum then, and the heroine knew about it, but that date--Mia was too proud for treats on a first date, so she borrowed some money from her dad.

Mia waited for an hour inside that bar. After half-a-bottle of beer, she saw an image who walked passed by the glass door, and she told herself, "I'll do whatever it takes to make her fall in-love with me". 

"Kamusta, kumain ka na"
"Huh? Nagtatagalog ka?!!"  
"Rarely, but yes".

After five beers, they both found themselves slightly intoxicated. The heroine ran her fingers through Mia's hair and they talked some more. They left the bar and headed to a tapsihan. After a nice meal, they sat on a gutter and cuddled. In the dark the world is never judgmental.

The next day, they were officially a couple.

For months it was beautiful, she was everything Mia hoped for. For months they enjoyed each other's company. Loved the things as a couple, not as individuals. Mia wished they could just stay there and repeat whatever it was that made them fall in love.

But that love was not preceded by friendship, and it failed. More than once. Miserably. Happy endings, after all, only happen in Fairy Tales.

I can still remember every detail, and maybe self respect is overrated. Because its been three months and I'm still stuck in that moment when we just got too tired for kindness. I lost again but its going to be alright. I know that you're doing just fine without me.

Happy Birthday.

Sorta Fairytales 2 of 3

Short Film 2
The Height of Her Pre-Adolescence


It was one of the very rare lovely moments in grade school. Ida, being the young dyke that she was looked forward to ogling the beautiful girls in school. She had a different crush every month, all of which are conveniently stocked in her crush memory bank.

But there was a particular girl who changed Ida's type completely. This girl, whom we shall call, "Sandwich", became an epitome of Ida's prospective partners years later.

Sandwich is taaall, funny, gorgeous but surprisingly smart and sweet. Ida never understood how this beautiful girl grew up not having any idea of how attractive she is. She never understood why Sandwich never made it to the "Hotstuff" list in their school publication. "This girl is a scorcher, why the hell is she not in this?" All she knows is the fact that she was drawn to the charming dork.

Ida was happy to just stare at Sandwich in school (Sandwich, our subject) during lunch and recess. "Maybe I'll see her today in the cafeteria." She thought. She cannot escape how smitten she was by this girl who is two years her senior.

Ida couldn't believe her eyes when she found herself and Sandwich riding the same vehicle for days. She refused to let the heat and the ugliness of the rickety jeep ruin that moment. To her it was splendid. And there, she finally saw Sandwich's strong features up-close. But she restrained herself from acting weird because, hello, she was 10. And she knew that the nerd would never swing her way. They spoke a few times, and Sandwich pinched Ida's arms and hands because Ida was too chubby for her own good. It was an innocent thing she had for kids and Ida knew it. But it didn't matter. It was nothing but it still brings a smile to Ida's face each time she remembers her schoolgirl crush.



Short Film 3
"Shi" is Halal


Mornings are spent calling clients and coordinating schedules and most afternoons are spent doing field work. On several occasions though, Agee gets invited by her clients for short meetings so they can talk about features and the parameters of their company's advertising.

"I would really like to talk about this with you face-to-face. I want to see your previous works and how you advertise.", "But this exposure is completely free and--", "You see it's not about the cost, I want to know where I'm putting my restaurant, I'll be here 'till 10:00pm if you're available tonight.", "Okay, Ms. Shi. I'll be there around 7:00pm"

Agee, most of all, is NOT thrilled to hear about meetings after working hours, because these hours aren't paid for, but she wanted this project dealt with and so she went.

She would have regretted it so bad if she didn't go.

Exhausted from the day's work, she was already grumpy and hungry, but she arrived at the resto's location right on time. She patiently waited at the lobby. After five minutes, she saw an image descending from the staircase. Those long eyelashes batted slowly and a smile formed from her lips. Her long black hair swayed beautifully and Agee just froze.

"Hello Ms. Agee. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting. I'm Shi---."
"Not a problem. I just got here." and I so want to hit on you right now.


Agee suddenly remembered an event that she attended with her Supervisor, Ranie. It's her, the Indian girl wearing an orange traditional dress during that event. I recall exchanging glances with her then, could she be...


"Let's move to this table so you can show me your works here." She said with a somewhat commanding tone.

The restaurant was empty. It was just Agee and Shi in the cozy dining area. And they sat. And for seconds they stared at each other. Shi broke the silence when she commanded Agee again to, "Please drink your tea." What the hell, dominatrix much?


Agee presented and Shi, as expected, was impressed by the sample works. Shi's fingertips ran through the prints smoothly, slightly touching Agee's hands which held the prints in place. "It's beautiful, I can see that its made by someone who really has an eye for design". Her stare, everytime she spoke was so intent and intense.

In between their dialogue, Agee couldn't help but text her queer-friendly Sup, Ranie, "RANNNIIIEEE! It's her! It's her! Indian girl from the event gaaaaaaaaah!"


"Oh wow! Are there any goodlooking Indian guys too?!"


"No, resto's empty tonight! But it's cool, feels like a date! Just me and her in this huge area!"


"Oh God Agee, be professional please?!"


"I am! I am! Dontchaworry, not a hint of desire on my face. *wink wink"

"Very well then, I guess we can do that photo shoot soon. How's next Tuesday?"
As though trying to run through her mental schedule, she subtly looked away, "I don't see any problem with that. Yes, that date should be perfect." as she looked back and smiled.

They wrapped things up and Agee said goodbye.

"I'll call you." Agee wished there was some sort of romantic intention in her calls. There was none. But whatever. Agee chose to be inspired.

Weeks passed and the project was over and done with. Agee got what she wanted. Shi called Agee as she promised.

"Hello Ms. Agee..."

"Yes Ms. Shi? How've you been?", Agee could tell it was her because of the thick but extremely adorable accent.

"I called to tell you, that I am leaving this post. I am quitting this job. Should you need anything, you can call this number *** ** **, He's -----, he will be replacing me."

"Okay Ms. Shi. Will do. Thank you."

"Thank you also. Have a good day. Goodbye."

Sorta Fairytales

It's 2am. Several countries in Asia are experiencing unimaginable trials because of the earthquake that hit Japan moments ago. I sympathize with them and I feel their fear. This is why I comfort myself with other ideas, because just like some people I know, I too, am paranoid.

Why do I go on writing about "sorta" fairy tales? I suppose I'm being selfish. Having also experienced my share of trials these past couple of months, I wish to hold on to sweeter thoughts. Hold on to very rare instances that somewhat still find their way in my head, repeating in slow motion. These are my short films, I am the cinematographer and I dictate the treatment of each frame.

Short film 1
In Her Silence

That barbecue stand in front of Eve's house is more than just savory isaws and sweet Fantas. Everyday Eve would buy a couple of isaws just to see her attractive neighbor. The ever-silent, smiley attractive neighbor who is slightly older than her, would give her chocolates, and very funny but decent letters; all written on scented legal sheets. And Eve's family also fell in love with this neighbor, by this time, neighbor gained the trust of everyone and was free to walk in and out of Eve's home. One beautiful afternoon, Eve woke up to find neighbor sitting beside her bed, watching TV, patiently waiting for her to wake up; so they may exchange letters again even if they are only inches apart. You see, neighbor remained silent, because she didn't have any other choice.



to be continued...

Only Me

In the name of a sweeter ending
please forget not my better memories with you
let this not be so abrupt
the coldness could put me into shock

For you are my first
and I vividly remember
you made me swear
for you to be my last

If you have learned
to loathe the very thought of me
be so kind
to not let me find out
the words from your lips
inflict pain so unbearable

And to you I've gone mad
Everything around me
triggers a red alert
forgive me
I grew up like this

This is nothing you've never seen
you laugh at my utter need for a backbone
you pity how pathetic I've become
but I thank you
for the days
just the days
you made ours

For what its worth
I will pretend
to be kind again
beautiful
the most beautiful girl you've ever seen

And maybe I could find
someone who'll see me again
the way you did
when we first shared that bottle of beer

Who will not push us further
over the edge
when things fall apart

Who will see me
as her lover
and not anything else

Everything
still seems to be a blur
and I am somewhat delusional
but maybe if I keep pretending
to be how I was
when our eyes first met
maybe I could find
the better of you

still longing for me.
only me.

Whatever Happened to...

...these ladies who used to be part of my pre-adolescent years.


1) Delores O'Riordan

Delores of Cranberries. Ah-yes. Is she a pixie-fairy? Is she dykie? I still can't make up my mind to this day. What's important is that I love her songs, or at least the first ones. Last I heard, she went solo. And most of the time, when they go solo, they go sell-out. I don't care. She's still one of my heroines.




2)

Melanie Chisholm

She used to have the cutest face among the Spice Girls. Sporty Spice, that's what they called her. I had the biggest crush on her. Then she started beefing up. Then she put more ink on her skin. Then she cut her hair and became too "boyish" for my taste. Then she became pregnant. I don't know what's next. Surprise me, Melanie C.





3)

Natasha Henstridge

White skin. Tall, slender, frame. Blue eyes. Blonde hair. She is the ultimate Caucasian bombshell. Diale, my bestfriend, will never forget Species. It's the first semi-soft-somewhat porn she laid her eyes upon.





4)
Cita Astals

What? Was that segue too intense for you?

Cita Astals, the actress-turned politician. She was one of the few Pinay actresses who had that air of sophistication. Educated and liberated, she was comfortable talking about sex on late-night TV. The former councilor was reportedly seen loitering around Manila. Tsk, tsk, tsk. What a waste. There's something about cougars even Stephen Hawking can't explain.





5)

Mariel Lopez


No Photo. Dammit. This girl used played the role of, "Angel" in TGIS and Growing up. It was the dawn of the
mixed races on TV. The half-german  Red Sternberg and err...Mariel--it was the dawn so there weren't much of them back then. Now, you've got Solenn Heussaff, her brother Erwan, that curly dude in ABS CBN, that raceboy turned actor. Anyway, rumors from the past claim that Mariel used to be the girlfriend of Karl Roy, the skinny rockstar dude. She had that innocent face. Tall, pale and sensual. The last time I saw her was during my college years. I was hanging-out with my friends in Glorietta when I saw her. Towering in her goth chic glory.

Empty Smile

While others were busy trying to survive against peer pressure, I was busy trying to keep my sanity. And what I get in return is this, just sheer emptiness, powerful enough to stop me from even forcing a smile. I am broken; it has gotten into me and I am clueless on when it is ever going to stop.

Adolescent a-holes made fun of me, and they don't even know how it happened. I tried to blend in--I laughed at myself and it is sick. Something I could never get back was lost, and what's worse is I am and will always be paying for it for the rest of my life. I pay for it in cash now, I used to in humiliation before. I don't know what I've done so wrong, why do I keep getting it constantly in waves I struggle to confront.

Still I take in everything that comes my way and no matter how damaged I seem, I fight it, with everything I've got or at least what's still left. I keep the faith, practice self-control and pray to the Almighty God for Him not  to abandon me. Let me be a good person so I may still fix this.

I hate the pretentious and I practice what I preach. The problem is, the truth can sometimes be so cruel. And when I think of it, the truth about myself, all I see is a tormented soul who is nearly beyond repair. A friend in college told me once that I inspire her. She's a good person down to the core and she sees me. She said that I've always been funny but it's okay to be sad sometimes, the escape that humor brings wears out overtime. I am forever grateful for meeting people like her, the kindness goes a long way. 

Maybe I am not really as sad as I think. Maybe I am just having a hormonal imbalance. I think I need a beer.

   

Pore Vous Est Poor Moi

When I was a little girl, I remember my mother using Pond's Cold Cream by her dresser. Every night she would apply pea-sized amounts on her face, spread the cream and wipe it off with tissue paper. She values the importance cleansing the skin and getting rid of dirt and dust after a long day. My mother's skin is far better than mine. My pores are wide open and extremely welcoming to bacteria and other particles which will soon turn into blackheads. Squeezing them out will again add to the size of my pores and the vicious cycle goes on.

I let myself go. The frequent junk binging and poor stress management have taken a toll on my skin. But there are solutions and I know exactly what to do.

1)

Pond's Cold Cream. I don't mind taking after my mother, because it's true what they say, mother knows best. After a long day of commuting and being exposed to dirt, dust and pollution, you should always cleanse your skin. What I usually do is, I rinse my face thoroughly with water first, pat it dry with a piece of tissue paper and apply this wonder cream right here. It gets rid of the dirt much like an astringent but there is no sting and it's non-drying. This is recommended for people who use make up but I don't use make up. And that's one less thing to worry about.




2)

St. Ives Apricot Scrub. Another skincare product I learned about from word-of-mouth. My besty, Diale recommended this product and it is really effective in minimizing pores. While bathing, scrub your face with this product. Apply about half a teaspoon and rinse. It gets rid of excess oil, unclogs pores and exfoliates. Frequent exfoliation is a sure way to minimize those pores.





3)

Olay Total Effects. This one I got from my sister. I literally got it from her closet and used it. I'm not sure how this works honestly, all I know is that I got compliments for radiant skin and a fairer complexion.





4)

Belo Essentials Sunexpert.  I don't use sunblock and my officemates were shocked when I told them. Yes, I am considering Belo Essentials Sunexpert because I haven't experienced any adverse side effects from using their other products and because the daughter of the celebrated Cosmetic Surgeon-Dermatologist is really nice and very down-to-earth.




5)

Sleep. My body clock is really fu****. More often, I am restless. I am very distracted and I'm sure I'm not getting enough rest. Sure, my skin suffers from poor sleeping patterns, but the problem doesn't end there. My job is also affected because of this. I end up getting to work really late and having huge deductions. My payslip is now telling me to get myself together.

Prose and Cons

At first I Google
and then I babble
and then I highlight all the details I can build on

Open a new tab
check some bacon slab
and then I drool and I forget what I'm getting at

I shake my head for the last drop of juice
words are running out like my brain is wearing running shoes
but I can't submit my first wave of crap
cos' I'll all have to re-do it in an hour and a half

What am I doing
Oh I'm just blogging
because my brain still refuses from functioning

Oh do you get me?
Cos I don't get me?
Oh can you get a shot of whiskey and do it quickly.

Eheh.

This Color Will

It's been almost a month since my last post. It took me that long to think of a pun. Hahaha. Berry punny.

The Color Wheel is made up of three primary colors; blue, red and yellow. Black and white are not considered colors, they represent the absence of color, but we will make an exception for this entry--because I already rendered the images and I'm too tired to make more to come up with 5 items. A color can strengthen a brand. It can even affect an entire nation in an era of political chaos (think Aquinos vs. Marcoses).  We always come across personality quizzes in various social networking sites. If you love useless trivia as much as I do, then read on.




1)

Red. Symbolizes intensity, emotions and love. It is hard to pull-off a red dress if you're on the heavy side as it is not too flattering.





2)

Calming and relaxing. Paint your room blue and reunite with long-lost sleep.




3)

My source on the Internet says that yellow speeds up metabolism? That might just be BS but hey, if you're as desperate as I am to lose the excess baggage, let's wear at least a piece of yellow garment everyday.






4)

Innocence, purity, we all get this. Most members of the gorgeous brown race spend a quarter of their earnings to change what they've got and to turn into this.




5)

It's dark and I'm focusing the spotlight on the parts that make the shadows seductive. Chocolates, glamor, night skies and bull clips. Stylists will never be the same without the aid of those big, black bull clips.

Mental Blog

Yes-yes-yes! Our files are already with the printers! I just can't wait for our fourth issue! As always, it's gonna be awesome. =D

I was loaded and extremely stressed. It was such an intense project. We had fewer weeks to pull everything together but I'm glad to be part of it. I am thankful for this stress. It only means I am still needed in the company. It only means they expect me to get the job done. And of course, I am again getting a few bylines, which is really something to be grateful for. Our publication is distributed nationwide and I am happy that my family's surname is back in circulation. My full name is incredibly short so on my next writing assignment, I shall include my middle name, an initial just won't do. I'm gonna ask our editors for their permission and I'm gonna do it for my mother.

Squeezing in blogging was quite difficult and that should explain this blog's temporary coma. I have to tell you though that I HAVE BEEN blogging...but only in my dreams. I experienced. A Mental Blog.


And the topics were:


1)

Katy Perry and her recent wedding to English comedian Russell Brand.

2)

Pepo Soriano and his short stint as a tweetum actor in ABS CBD.




















3)

Horror flicks and why they drive you nuts.




























4) 

Helen Mirren still has that sexiness. It might not be as strong as the one in her Caligula days but she's still undeniably charming in RED.






















5) 

Dexter and how he can be an icon to modern day hero wannabees.

Pack Or Friction

Woooh! Just finished my major production duties last week. Hagardo Versoza much. It was fun though, such an adventure as I was assigned to join our team for a location shoot somewhere in Northern Luzon. Work-related trips like this require you to be very careful in choosing stuff to bring with you. Before stuffing your bag with anything remember to put some cash in your pockets first. Items in this list will keep you fresh, decent and comfortable for 24 hours. Pick and pack what's necessary and give your shoulders and spine a breather.

1) Toiletries

You all know the drill. The basics we always bring since we started joining those retreats in high school. I would like to put more emphasis on the importance of the roll-on. This is a tropical country and we sweat a lot. If you don't have the luxury of time to take a shower every four hours, it won't hurt to be deodorant-dependent every once in a while.








2) Underwear 

We can survive with just a pair of trousers, but you need to feel the freshness from within. Bring a few pairs of extra underwear, and some cotton shirts.















3) 2 Towels (Face and Bath)

Wipe the sweat after carrying travel bags and props. Scrub-off the stickiness after the long-day's manual labor. Never underestimate the face-towel, it serves many purposes and you'll be surprised. The bath towel, when dry, can also double as a blanket when you're in a vehicle with ruthless airconditioning.







4) The Right Footwear

So you're heading out of town and you don't know what to expect. You just heard that you'll be thrown to an undeveloped property near caves and mountains. Grab those hiking boots or maybe a treasured pair of aquashoes and be slip-proof.










5) Laxatives

Don't you get those days when you feel your gut rocks? Like, you literally feel as though you have some rocks inside your gut. I do. Staying in another place overnight might even make things worse. If you wish to feel lighter and clean on your way back to the city, try taking laxatives the night before you head home. You won't only feel lighter, you will also have more room for the unwinding phase after the project, which will mostly consist of binge-drinking and food-tripping.

A Bra Cadabra

What's in a bra? Cups, under wires, elastics, foam maybe. How do you find a perfect bra that matches your personality? Come and join me as I explore types of this wonderful undergarment. I'm gonna love this. Because I'm a lady.


1)

The Training/ Trainer Bra. Not to be confused with the sports bra. Used by pre-adolescent girls usually between the ages of 10-13. It provides very little support and the fabric is not as elastic and not as thick as regular bra.






2) 

The Sports Bra. Scared to drive that motorbike along a bumpy, humpy road? Conscious about jogging in the morning because "the partners" are too bouncy for their own good? Well, say no more. I get you. Try wearing a sports bra, it hugs bosoms firmly and they will stay where they should be.




3)

The Man Bra. Recommended to men who have man-boobs. With the help of the man bra, these unfortunate men can be as macho as they want. But always, always, keep that shirt on.





4)

Lingerie. Wear lingerie during special occasions such as your betterhalf's birthday or maybe a wedding anniversary. This is pretty self-explanatory.

5) The Push-up T-Shirt Bra. An old favorite. Casual days, won't be as casual if everyone can see your stuff. The T-shirt bra allows a lady to wear shirts with really fine fabric without worrying about high-beams.

Shake It Off

The world is miserable enough. Let's remind ourselves to just let go of all the angst or bitterness brought to us by the past. Things that cannot be undone are simply that. If events, situations, circumstances or whatever else you wish to call it; if all these remain the same, you can at least do whatever it takes to stay sane. Yes. Be happy, you owe it to yourself. Negativity doesn't contribute to anything and it is contagious. However, if you still want to entertain the nonsense, please make sure to keep the crap to yourself.

You can also try the following:


1)

If you're allergic to alcohol then disregard this suggestion. A glass of wine or maybe a couple of bottles of beer relaxes the muscles. You need to know your limits of course.





2)

Everyone needs to be loved. If you are happy and content with your single-blessedness, then good for you. If you aren't then maybe you should tweak your aura a bit. Make yourself available. Try not to push people away when they are being nice. Remember, people are innately good.






3)

Be around friends. Good people who will only bring out the best in you. They will listen, give advice and help you cope with the struggle.




4)

Get a pet. It's really different when you take care of another creature who will love you unconditionally. I recommend dogs. They're sweet, cute and are just so eager to make you happy. They will give you so much joy but along with it comes great responsibility.




5)

Have faith. You don't exactly have to be religious. Just be confident and know that kindness will lead you to the right direction.



...And I'll do my best to practice what I preach.

Shoe Thing Star

I'm still a little hungover my post last night. I remember including black pumps in my previous entry and I've been thinking about a few essentials to keep my feet in tip-top shape. You don't need a lot, just get the basics. Have the right footwear while avoiding the clutter.

1)

Running Shoes. Work can often get the better of us and as much as we'd like to take care of our health, saying, "I don't have the time" seems to be the more convenient option. Maybe you can try jogging for 20 minutes a day? That's not too much to ask and it can make a huge difference on your well-being.




2)

Flip Flops. So its a weekend and you decide to stay at home. A friend calls up to tell you she's coming over to binge-drink with you. The store is right across the street and you need to get the beers and ice ready. For extremely relaxed days, wear your slippers. It's really silly for me to be elaborating on this. You can also wear your slippers when you have to do your business in a filthy bathroom.





3)

 Leather Boots.  I hate how the weather has been lately. So unpredictable. The drainages are all clogged and sh**  and we all have to put up with the flood that can often ruin shoes and spread diseases. Be prepared and get yourselves a pair of durable knee-high leather boots. Don't let yucky flood water get in between your toes! Oh! You can also wear this if you're planning to see a gig of a rock band.










4)

Slip ons or Sneakers. If you have to do lots of walking, running around and you have a long day ahead of you, I suggest you wear a pair of these. These are perfect for people who do lots of field work. Comfort is not a sin. These shoes look great with walking shorts, tops made with soft and fine fabric and maybe a few accessories here and there. Now that's casual.

5)

Wedge Sandals. T.Yawn's favorite. Look great in the office, be pretty. Show-off the good posture even as you suffer from cubicle fever. 

Before Working for the Media

1)

Ladies should get themselves a pair of basic black pumps. They never go out of style and can be used for both formal and casual occasions.




2)

 














Check if your ears are functioning perfectly as you will need them for transcribing, socializing, and listening to rapid-fire instructions.




3)

Inquire about your mobile phones' remaining credit balance. You need to stay in touch, especially when you're rushing things which will, most likely be, all the time.





4)

Take care of your pearly whites and work-on your smile. You never know when you have to charm your way out of a sticky situation.





5)

Use Anti-aging products because you MUST hide the lines on your forehead and you NEED to minimize those pores.